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Love Still

There are times
I have been here before
Though not quite so
Not with this sweetness
This missing of you
For I love you still
I have ached for love
Betimes in my past
But you are different
Never did I open so much
Like a sunflower
Reaching ever up
For the morning sun
I opened my heart
Hoping to find with you
A love I have not known
Baring my secrets
Daring to be known
In all my faults
Not just my victories
Longing to be accepted
Despite my ugly moments
A past riddled with mistakes
Some quite dark
And a painful history
Of abuse and agony
But you forgave me
And let me be real
About all of it
How much it meant
And so to you also
Or so you said
Not that I doubt you
I do not accuse you
Of being false
But just understanding
How pain distorts reality
And fogs up our goggles
Making it so hard
To know what the truth is
I forgive you
I love you still
I wish I could tell you
But cannot now
For you have chosen silence
A Grand Canyon between us
I think I understand why
But cannot confirm it
I just hope
It is less painful for you
On your end
In that precious space
Deep within your breast
Like in mine
Where I love you still



Stephen Pursell, 9/7/16




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