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I am a servant of God
I have received an anointing
To do the work of the ministry
I have led people to Jesus
Fed the hungry
Taken the homeless home
Built prayer networks
And by the power of the Holy Spirit
I have hands on the sick
And seen them instantly healed
Even a blind eye opened
I have cast out demons
I have received visions from heaven
I have seen my King on his throne
His beautiful face smiling over me
His angels ministering to me
The saints around me
The streets of gold
The heavenly tabernacle
The New Jersualem
The Army of Light
The Glorious Lion of Judah
Clothed in Holy Fire
I have received the scepter of sonship
It is all true
"My conscience confirms it
In the Holy Spirit"
God is my witness
Ask him: he was there
But sadly that is not all
Oh, if only this were all there is to me
For I am an idolater
Yes, an idolater
I have other loves
Loves I would do well to let go of
Old hurts
Anger that 'protects' them
Food, coffee
Pride, religion
Fantasy, romance
My looks, my physique
My ideas, my ministry
Even revelations
God help me
What did the apostle say?
"What a wretched man I am"
Can we be honest for a minute?
Isn't this most of us?
Oh sure, we left Egypt
But aren't we dreaming of leeks and onions?
When I am going to die to myself?
The rest of myself
All of myself
That I may have more real Life
And really love the Lord the way I want to?
The way I claim to
The way I do sometimes
Doesn't he deserve it?
All the time?
Don't I know that?
So what is my problem?
What life is there?
In my saddlebag full of idols?
Toting them around
Weighing down my poor camel
This is madness
Yes, now I see
The apostle spoke it so well
"Who will deliver me?
From this body of death?"
Lord, let me stand the fire
Send a seraph from the altar
To put me to the coals
Burn off the dross
Make me like You
No more idols
Just You
A vessel finally fit
For all of Your Life
Blazing out through me
Bringing You glory

Stephen Pursell, 11/8/14