"Tell me, Lord," I pled "Yes,"he said, "Sit, listen, imagine:We enjoyed all the feasts together Father was always telling hidden things Joseph was a fine carpenter, a patient teacher The customers appreciated my service Still it seemed long to wait Mother was worried, she was a mother We had no social standing but we did good work I took to it well, I am smart, you know" And he winked at me and continued "The elders would talk of the RomansI was there, our fathers were in me Daniel's fearlessness and intercession Oh Father, the people the people!! Why, oh why?I began to remember, really remember Oh the tears and and more tears, how can I bear it? Hungry poor, oppressed, leaderless Yes Father, for you, for them, yes I will do it More years in the scriptures More time with Father in the wilderness I was getting ready Then came John, precious John, brave and fearless John This is what we were training for Finally they would begin to believe The temptation was about trust Would I live? Would Father hold me? Were the scriptures enough? The usurper came I passed the test Then the angels came, what comfort No pride, no fear, no doubt, only faith now An ocean of hope and joy and Love, so much Love Finally to reach to the people It didn't take long, they began to come to me So many, so needy, so helpless It crushed me to see them that way But it filled me to give to them And it was too much, we needed rest More respites in the wilderness with Father My disciples were so slow to listen They did not understand Messiah But Father was everywhere Ever deeper, refreshingly unpredictable So delighted to share, so patient People don't understand: I missed sometimes Not sin, just learning through trail and error Perfecting the art of ministry It was uncharted waters, I had no earthly mentor Sometimes I had to stay up all night to pray Father would patiently get me re-aligned It was always worth it Oh the glory, the gratitude, their faces The lepers were often so grateful Except for those nine, so sad They would gape at their new fingers Their faces shining with tears Father and I would abound with fulfillment The young man who had the legion He was so disappointed, he wanted to join us Few have known how great an evangelist the became And the prostitutes we so true Their wonder at real Love from a man The parties were rich harvest fields Hurting souls looking for Love The pleasure of greeting them Their amazement as I sat to eat Their eagerness to please So exuberant, so unable to fathom it Finally daring to believe they were loved Oh Father, all of them, Father every one! And so loyal once the followed Mary my friend, such fierce loyalty Her deliverance was so beautiful She snotted all over me and I did not care It was wonderful and unforgettable Oh such memories, truly golden moments Precious souls precious days, a precious plan And tears, tears, tears The Pharisees: so heart-breaking So hard, so cold, so pitted against Life So much potential So much word but all in the mind Twisted mind and hearts, twisted by sin That's why I am so proud of Paul If only you knew what he had to shed What a dear friend, a true brother And the day approached, I set my face Many fell away then Many, like now My nearest and dearest fought me So heart-breaking, the rejection cut deep Pain, pain such pain, and loneliness The whip, the clubs, the fists Isaiah as they sawed him in two Jeremiah as he bled Zechariah as they slew him Oh my sons, my brothers, my creation Grief unimaginable, I couldn't breathe Strength Father, give me strength I had to make it all the way Pilate's folly The spirit of man with one last chance Did you ever consider that he could have yielded? Choice, there is always choice But of course, we knew his choice Understand that despite that, I already knew There was always hope in my heart for them For Judas, for Pilate, for Herod Hope for them born of love Without it there is no brokenness Having to let it go Messiah had to be utterly crushed Inside and out Crucify Him!! They insisted I turned to go up the hill Rejection beyond words Beyond the loudest thunder Carry the cross I'd hauled plenty of lumber, you know Oh please, Father, strength, strength It was hard to believe him I had to make it up that hill, to finish Such hateful words, jeers, mocking And the wails of my beloved, such grief for them Messiah on a cross? It brought total bewilderment Mother, Mary, John, they staggered behind A split second of distraction The torment, the bitterness of sin Every foul thing from the whole universe Pressing into my eyes, nostrils ears, skin Stinging rain on my rib-bared back, cold Father, Father, where are you? I could never have imagined My heart straining, weakening Father Father, why? You have left me too Total separation, I feel my hear ripping It struggles to beat, blood leaking out Untold legions of demons on my breast Crushing, crushing, Father's rejection Into your hands I commit my spirit My heart rips in half" And then he turned and faced me Smiled and looked deep into my eyes He enveloped me and drowned me in Love "I'd have done it for you if you were the only one You were worth it to me, I'd do it again Father has raised us both I'd give anything to have you with me forever I already have and always do, you're mine You can never be taken from me You are bought with a price There is nowhere too far for me to go I'll always bring you back, as long as you let me None is snatched from my hand Only your choice could separate you from me This is only the beginning I am alive, I have risen! After three days in the earth I stood I walked out of my tomb I live for you, to serve you Your King, the Servant We serve here in this Kingdom I who was the last am first I am building a mansion for you Making a place in my government For you alone if you will truly follow me Stand up son, stand my brother I have made you like me I give you authority To walk over evil, to speak life To heal, to bless, to inspire To breathe life over my creation Even the dead To uproot and to plant To tear down and build up To finish the Adamic commission To husband my garden throughout the earth You are my brother You are my friend and my Bride We are all One, my Body One body, many parts I love you, I bought you You will be mighty, holy in my sight You are mine, and I am a jealous Lover My seed is in your belly You will bear me much fruit I have chosen you From before the dawn of time I designed you, made a plan for you To rule and reign with me forever So stand up, receive your birthright You can receive the glory for which I made you If you will but suffer with me In order to be perfected as I was I have reserved you for such a time as this" "Can it be, Lord?" I asked "Yes," he said, "I have said it I who cannot lie This is my story You are my inheritance It is your love I have sought My wedding, at last My banquet, my bedchamber All for me, shared with you Come, enter the Joy of your Master" "Yes, Lord" I said Yes, yes and amen Make me your brother A son of the Most High God" Stephen Pursell, 1/2/04 |
Home > 2004 Poems >