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Bad Choosing

I recall tear swept days
A desert of hopelessness and direction lost
All of life's purpose awash in confusion
And loneliness, loneliness, loneliness
I was lost
I had been removed from hope
My experience was a dark field of lies
But the Truth had never left me
The Way was branded on my heart
And as I awoke from those days of wilderness
I embraced a new direction
I struck out in a self-perceived, 'assured' center
But I had lost hold of reality
The Light was within me
But I had abandoned his voice
Yet now he has brought me full circle
To remember when death seemed inviting somehow
I had chosen to hold onto my idols
When the Master required them from me
He would have given me diamonds in trade
But I was the jailer of my own soul
The devil was only my helper
Inviting me where I ought not to go
I was the one acquiescing
The problem was mine alone

Stephen Pursell, 11/20/01